Hello! 
I've been kinda MIA from my website, forums. Wow December 2020 sure was a difficult one. I never could have imagined. I'm sure we as humans all think that when something bad is happening, its 'other people'... It's on the news... It's not actually going to be in MY life... As terrible as it is to see other people hurting, majority of us; if not all of us -- don't really give much thought to terrible things actually happening to ourselves.
I am 54 years old. I am not mentally or emotionally prepared to be loosing friends at my age. But this is exactly what happened in December this year.
My friend Debbie Boyce. She did not have an online/social media presence. She had been a friend for a long time where I live. We were CNAs together (Certified Nursing Assistant - if you don't know) We worked together for many years together. We got fired together *lol* We were invited to work at another (horrible) nursing home together. And she even lived right next door to me when I was still married.
I still can't believe she is not here. That is so bizarre to me. 53 years old. The day after christmas. Covid-19 was suspected. Nothing was said in obituary about cause of death. I wasn't close with her family or anything. So, have really no way of knowing any details... Sad thing is I always noticed her car there when I would pull up to my old house. Why didn't I take a moment to go say hi...
The lesson to be learned here is -- if someone is in your thoughts -- react! Text, call, say hello. Send that holiday greeting. Because like my daughter told me; nothing in life is guaranteed. Regret is a very very big and bitter pill to swallow.
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My friend Debbie was the 2nd friend I lost this past December 2020.
A friend of my husband's well - ex-husband that we brought up our kids around; that I hung out with for 12 years. Always ran into when we would go back to Washington on visits.
Dead at 50 years old. A childhood friend of my ex-husband's. The youngest of all of us in our circle. Apparently drank himself to death by being drunk 7 days a week. THAT was NOT the person we knew. Who knows what happens in a persons life. I was under the impression all of our close friends grew up and cleaned up just as we had. :'(
And this was on Winter Solstice - so just 4 days before christmas. Now his family will always remember christmas this way. The year that he died, 4 days before christmas...
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December was already an emotional month for my sister and I and our family. When my sister and her best friend were 13 years old. My parents and my sister had moved from Iowa to California. Her best friend Nanette was a big part of our family. She was part Japanese and part American. SO beautiful. I remember being a teen ager thinking, wow! That girl is going to be a famous model someday, and I knew her when!
Our parents, and her parents were planning a surprise for the girls as a christmas present - Nan was going to be flown out to California to spend time with my sister Jenny and our parents.
But at the ending of November I got a phone call sounding like my sister was saying Dad's Dead!! Dad's Dead! But she was saying Nan. Suicide... Gun shot to the head. At 17 years old with 2 babies, it was my job to represent our family and pay my respects for all of us. I'll never forget how strange she looked. How she didn't look like herself.
It's been a great source of grief and depression for both my sister and I throughout the years.
So, December is cancelled for me next year! 
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