I do not even know where or how to begin. I'll start where I believe the beginning to be for me.
Last week 2 of my tenants (a married couple) came into the office to talk about some issues they are having and to talk about what they need to do for their annual recertification for the ending of this month. They both sat down and this is such a loving couple. A blended modern family. :) They sat down and right away I noticed how 'bright' the husband appeared. I thought WOW! He must be on a really healthy diet. He looked great and very happy. Now knowing everything that has happened. Maybe this was peaceful rather than happy...
As we all talked about everything. I kept getting really distracted and looking over at him directly. Trying not to act strange; I didn't want them to notice. But he seemed so bright and happy. I kept trying to put it out of my mind. He's probably on a super healthy diet, maybe he's been exercising. Maybe he recently started taking an anti-depressant or other type of medication...
Jump forward to yesterday morning now (Tuesday August 3, 2021) - the wife coming in, in tears saying she has a terrible emergency. Hubs was air lifted to Casper the day before and the hospital just called her and told her she better come over now. They don't expect him to make it. They had him in an induced coma.
Without giving out a bunch of medical information and private information *HIPPA* a health crisis of some sort spiraled quickly. He passed on last night around 9:30 p.m.
This glowing or brightness firmly implanted in my minds eye for me to clearly see over and over and over last night. And then learning about his passing this morning -- my heart has been hurting so much today. Crying. Not understanding. Then coming to grips with the reality that he will really not be coming back. His wife and daughter have to come back without him. They are (the married couple) in their 40's and early 50's. He's younger than me! How can this possibly be!
After I got home from work today I remembered something that occured this morning. Maybe its a 'thing' maybe its not... I can't know. But when my maint. man and I went to investigate a separate issue I walked past a bird nest up by the roof. No big deal I thought... Kept walking. Then he is saying look look. Whaaaat your freaking me out. Look! the bird is staring right at you. OMG! There was a large black bird sitting right in the nest. Not moving a hair! I have never in my life seen any animal not move like that! My gaze caught her gaze. And ummm ok, lets take off before I get my eyes plucked out.
But birds are messengers of the other world. And thinking back, how weird it was exactly 13 hours later.
But why on earth would any of this be happening to me.
I'm not anyone special to either of them.
I am a highly sensitive being. I am an empath. But I'm not anyone specifically special to these people.
They are very wonderful people and I always feel so very thankful for them. They follow the rules, pay their rent not only on time. But actually early. They were such a bonded connected couple. That's a bit rare these days. They were just married this past March and I am happy for them that they had the time together that they did.
And that they were able to find one another on the big and sometimes complicated planet...
I'm glad I have gotten better about telling people how I feel. I tell people I appreciate them. So, I have no regrets that I didn't say something I felt.